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May 12, 2021
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Astro-Cannabis: Astrological Toking Part III

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“Thank you for allowing us to share such deep scientific knowledge with you about Astro-Cannabis. Remember, our disclaimer…”


We are back for part III of our zodiac guide to choosing your cannabis strains. Our disclaimer one again… We ain’t taking this shit that seriously. We are not as scientific as Tim Meadows’ character from the Ladies’ Man. We may sip Courvoisier as we give you this deep knowledge though!

Speaking of Leon Phelps (The Ladies’ Man). We left off speaking to you about the energy of King Leo… Let’s return to our analysis to speak on the nature of Virgo. Let me start by saying it ain’t that serious Virgo. Y’all can be so analytical and literal. Please hit some of the Grapefruit Select Co-op has on deck. The sativa effects will spur creativity and sociability and possibly get the stick out of your ass, if a stick is present. Relax and hopefully you can take a joke Virgo.

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Your turn Libra. While Libra’s can be cooperative, gracious, and a social butterfly there may also be tendencies towards indecisiveness, anxiety, and avoiding conflict. To keep you “balanced” Libra. Take a toke of Sherbalto. This strain will have you elated, sociable, and energized while anxiety and stress will melt away replaced by relaxation.

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Next up is the stubborn energy of Scorpios. Yes, I am talking to you all. My brother is a Scorpio. While resourcefulness and passion are traits, so are distrust, secretive, and even paranoia is possible. Scorpio, please hit this Diesel Glue. It will blast you with Focused energy to attack your day as you are about business. The strain also offers a 10% CBD effect to offer mental and physical relaxation to keep your mood mellow while the mind is engaged.

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Lastly, folks we are paying homage to Sagitarius. Y’all Sags are known for being “out there”. While known for being funny and extroverted, you may also tend to overextend yourself and are impatient. In the evening Sagitarius, enjoy a dose of Do-Si-Dos. The taste is amazing and will speak to your adventurous side. The indica energy of Do-Si-Dos will allow your mind and body to relax and not race on to the next thing.

Thank you for allowing us to share such deep scientific knowledge with you about Astro-Cannabis. Remember, our disclaimer… We do not take this shit seriously. I have not invested years of my life seeing what zodiac principles apply like Leon Phelps has. Let us know how we did… 420 out!

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